Unit 9

I can't believe we are almost to the end.  This has been the roughest term for me, a lot of things have been happening left and right in my life. Most of you that know me, or are friends with me on facebook have seen what has gone on, but most of it I don't try to let be public.  I am hoping things been better soon in my life and back on track.  I cannot stand feeling like such an underachiever through college, because it is so very important in my life. I have high goals set for myself because I know that I can accomplish them, and they just seemed to all go out the window this term, due to a lot of personal things going on in my life.

My son on September 3 had to be put under to have dental work done. It was the hardest thing I have ever gone through in my life.  I've been through a lot in my life, but to watch my own child be put under was the hardest thing I've gone through yet. It was the scariest experience.  We got to the hospital, and they gave him a child's valium to calm him down so he didn't get scared, it made him act drunk...which it was silly to see him just laugh at everything and everyone. Then the anesthesiologist came in with the gas mask, and that was all she wrote for this mommy. His body jerked in movements I've never seen in real life before. I couldn't even get a handle on myself, it was so scary. After he finally fell asleep, I left and just bawled my eyes out. I felt like I was saying goodbye forever. It just tore me apart, beyond belief.  Afterwards they called me back to recovery and I basically ran back there. Instantly picked my baby boy up, and just held him forever. Although it was just dental work, it felt like something much more than that in my heart and mind. I hope I never have to go through that again, it was the hardest thing ever.